OK, don’t. It’s a horrible thought – and we do love Colin to bits – but even he’d probably posthumously admit that a kilt is about as far as a man should go on the opposite-frock side of things.

But once you have safely erased that mental image from your brainbox, consider this... how come there are so few female rally drivers out there? We know that women can drive and have the vote and everything. They are equal in every sense to modern man. They even have the she-wee and can pee standing up. So where are the lady rally drivers? My wife can park like Russ Swift and if you’ve been near a school at picking-up time you’ll know that womenfolk are fearless and brave when behind the wheel. Surely this is the stuff rally legends are made of?

Well, Louise Cook, wants to prove me right and become the first female rally champ of the universe, and we’re not stopping her. In fact, we’re encouraging her, because she’s sponsored by Dodo Juice and will never forget the generosity we bestowed upon her by means of a small vinyl sticker and some small change we found in the Blingo’s seat cushion.

Good luck to her. She’ll need it if Fast Car ever get her in for a photoshoot… and if you have fifty quid spare and fancy helping young Cookie, please give generously via her website: www.cutecookie.co.uk.